Local Revision: Variety

I've been looking back on many of my blog posts and they tend to be very dry and boring as time goes on. First one (go look at it) was fire, but slowly after that I tend to use more formal language and I apologize cause reading my own work made me want to go to sleep. So here is another post. One that I hope is more interesting and less formal ;)

1. How much variation is there in your sentence structures in the current draft? Can you spot any repetitive or redundant sentence patterns in your writing? Provide a cogent analysis of what the Rules for Writers reading tells you about your sentences.

Not trying to boast or anything, but I think one of my strengths is using a variety of different sentences in my papers. I went to this really great school that taught me the importance of making a paper more appealing, so I am what you call an expert at sentence variety. That's definitely an exaggeration because there are obvious points in my paper when I used a repetitive pronoun for multiple sentences in a row. For example, when I talk about Dr. John Robb, I use 'he' three times in a row to describe things that he's done. I can definitely revise those by using some of the techniques in the Rules for Writers book such as the switching of the verb phrase and noun phrase.

2. What about paragraph structures, including transitions between different paragraphs (or, for video/audio projects, different sections of the project)?

I believe I definitely placed some awkward spacing between a paragraph because I was trying to conform to the conventions too heavily, thinking more of the appeal of the eye rather than the appeal of the thought. I will probably go back and make sure the spacing makes more sense and think more about the content than what it looks like (sounds like something my mom told me about finding a boyfriend).

3. What about vocabulary? Is there variety and flavor in your use of vocabulary? What are the main strengths and weaknesses of the draft's approach to vocabulary?

I feel like there are definite times where I could enhance my vocabulary to make it sound more knowledgable and more formal. However, I also feel like there needs to be a balance so that the point doesn't get lost through words that some people may not understand. The main strengths of my draft in terms of vocabulary is that the words are easy to understand and don't make the paper seem boring. Conversely, I do feel as if I am a little too informal at times, so I do need to change some of my wording.

"Reality TV Gifs". Via Giphy.