Peer Review for Amorah

This post is for a peer review for Amorah Pratt.

Here is her rough draft!

Amorah's video essay I feel is very unique and she obviously spent a large amount of time on it. It is one that I was very interested to read and one that I think stands out because of its uniqueness. I will be commenting a bit on form but more on content than anything
Some suggestions:
1. I would just say to make sure you have a creative title for your video essay because it will make the form even better than it already is.
2. I know you wanted to focus on time management, but I would also focus on the class as a whole and how you grew from it in connection with your time management because I think it would make your content even stronger.

I hope my comments helped and I used the information from 70-73 of the Student Guide to do this peer review. I learned a lot from Amorah's video essay, but one in particular is her specific way to approaching it through drawing. I thought it was very strong and interesting.

Editorial Report 15b

This is the second post for revising my rough draft!

Here is the rough cut:

Despite the problems I ran into and the time that seemed to not be managed, I feel like this semester of writing has changed me as a writer and as a person. It might be due to the fact that I am a Freshman and this will probably be one of the best years of my life, but a large part of that is the growing I've been doing as a student. Learning and writing in these differing genres about varying topics has broadened my abilities. I am thankful for learning about these genres and the growing I've done from them.  
Now that you probably know more about me than you wanted to, I will leave you with this picture of the really cute puppy I met and a "Goodbye". A goodbye to my English 109H class. A See you later to to my wonderful friends I've met this year. And a thank you, to you for watching! Have a great day! 

Here is the revised cut:

( Look at the last minute)

1.     How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

Honestly, my content didn't really change that much because I liked where I was going with the conclusion. I changed it a bit by expanding more on how the writing has changed me as a person throughout the essay more rather than just keeping it in the conclusion.

2.    How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

The form changed as I added pictures, music, and a bit of my personality which I think make for a more effective conclusion. The conclusion became less boring which would allow the reader to be more interested and pay attention to what I was actually saying.

Editorial Report 15a

This post is an edited version of the rough draft that I completed last week.

Here is the rough cut:

Hello guys! How we doing today? I saw the cutest little puppy the other day. His paws were so small and cute and he kept trying to bite my hair! Cue really cute picture of the puppy.
*Show Puppy picture*
Anyways, today I'm going to talk about something more serious: my writing process throughout these past couple of weeks. A little back story, I've been taking a 109H English course where we picked a genre and a topic every couple of weeks. The first week I did a QRG on the controversial issue of the over vaccination of dogs, the second week was a podcast on the work created in the vet science field, the third week was a regular old essay about the new Barbie's Mattel came out with, and now we are here. A video essay, reflecting on my writing process. 

Here is the edited cut:

(Look from the beginning to around 1.30s)

1.     How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

As far as my content goes, I added more details to the beginning of the video such as the title and who it was by. I also made sure to add background of what I was doing even making the video essay itself.

2.    How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

Obviously the form changed greatly because it is now an actual video. I added multiple things to bulk up the form including pictures, fun music, and my face which made the video essay become more of a video essay.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

This post is dedicated to the rough-cut of my video essay

Here is the link to it!

Key Information:

This is pretty much what my overall video essay will look like with maybe a few more pictures scattered throughout because I really spent a lot of time on the rough cut so that I wouldn’t have to focus as much on it during the day. There are also super awkward moments of me doing weird things that I chose to keep in there because I wanted to make it an honest video J

Major Weaknesses:

I would say that my major weakness is having the background music being too loud sometimes and I wasn’t sure how to fix that as much. Another major weakness is that I can sometimes come across as if I’m just reading a script, so there are points where I may look a little dead in the eyes verses other parts.

Major strengths:

One strength I have noticed is that I am able to get my ideas across in an organized fashion because I was able to really outline and make a solid script that I could remember items from. I also found my introduction and conclusion to be the strongest part of my video essay.

Peer Review 14 for Missy Webb

This is a post for a peer review, specifically for Missy Webb (my love)!

Here is her Content Outline. :)

Overall, I like the way that Missy set up her content outline because it seems like she really has all the pieces that she wants to talk about written out in a way that is easy for her to understand. She also touches on key points of her writing process that I find to be very informative and helpful as a reader. For this post I will be focusing kinda on form and kinda on content:

Some suggestions:

1. I would suggest adding in some moments where you could add music or pictures so you make sure your video is as visually stimulating as it could be.

2. I would also suggest to make sure you make clear transitions between your three body paragraphs because they are topics that are harder to tie together, so make sure the transitions seem effortless ;)

3. Finally, I want to see more of you in the project, which I'm sure will come out in the actual video essay part, but just keeping that in mind as you're doing your video essay!

I used pages 70-73 for the overall guidelines for how to write a successful peer review for this post and learned a lot from reading Missy's outline. I learned that I need to make sure I know exactly what I wanted to say like she did so my actual process of making the video essay runs smoother. I hope these suggestions helped out!

Love ya ;)

Production Report 14b

This post will be my conclusion of my video essay, both the outline version as well as the rough cut of it.

Outline Version:

Conclusion (End of Journey):

Talk about overall struggles with time management
~Review points previously talk about

End with "Goodbye Wildcats."
~Something about seeing everyone next year,
~Journey for this year is complete

Rough cut:

Despite the problems I ran into and the time that seemed to not be managed, I feel like this semester of writing has changed me as a writer and as a person. It might be due to the fact that I am a Freshman and this will probably be one of the best years of my life, but a large part of that is the growing I've been doing as a student. Learning and writing in these differing genres about varying topics has broadened my abilities. I am thankful for learning about these genres and the growing I've done from them.  
Now that you probably know more about me than you wanted to, I will leave you with this picture of the really cute puppy I met and a "Goodbye". A goodbye to my English 109H class. A See you later to to my wonderful friends I've met this year. And a thank you, to you for watching! Have a great day! 

1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?
   Having a good conclusion for a video essay is very important, so I wanted to make a strong conclusion that was fun but still important to finish up all my thoughts. I wanted also to incorporate music and background music that would make the whole video more interesting.
   
   
2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
   The conclusion was harder to write because I wasn't sure how to end it in a way that was interesting because I have never written a video essay before. I am also not the most witty person so making it interesting and funny was also hard.

Production Report 14a

This post will be the outline version of my introduction and the rough cut of it. It is obviously not the video part of it, but it is the script of the video that will be translated into a video.

Outline Version:

Introduction: 

Introduce myself and a little bit about me and my life
~Personal shot of me in my room on my bed, talking about what
my video will be about
~What type of writer I am and explain myself
~Touch on how writing is a journey

Rough Cut:

Hello guys! How we doing today? I saw the cutest little puppy the other day. His paws were so small and cute and he kept trying to bite my hair! Cue really cute picture of the puppy.
*Show Puppy picture*
Anyways, today I'm going to talk about something more serious: my writing process throughout these past couple of weeks. A little back story, I've been taking a 109H English course where we picked a genre and a topic every couple of weeks. The first week I did a QRG on the controversial issue of the over vaccination of dogs, the second week was a podcast on the work created in the vet science field, the third week was a regular old essay about the new Barbie's Mattel came out with, and now we are here. A video essay, reflecting on my writing process. 

Lets start at the beginning.

1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?
   Obviously, this is not a video essay, but as you can see I plan to include pictures and different sounds and music to reflect the importance of visuals for a video essay. I want to include fun music throughout the whole video as well to amp up the conventions of the video essay.
   
   
2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
   The production went fairly well because I am pretty good at introductions. However, I foresee many problems in the future in making sure I get exactly how I want it to look in the video and future parts of the video essay.